A LETTER TO MY BODY

Im sorry for how much I have hated you. How I have shattered glass to hid your reflection. Im sorry for the pain I put you through: for the scars that cover your arms and hips, an array of silver lines that will never disappear. Im sorry for starving you, than filling you to the breaking point, before purging you for everything but your empty shell. Im sorry for the food I put into you that doesn't make you a size 2. Im sorry for the times I tried to pull my ribs apart and free myself. Im sorry for the tear stains permanently etched into your cheeks from the years I just couldn't bury the waves of of agony and heartbreak of inside you. Im sorry your eyes lost their light and became dark and empty. Im sorry for the years you carried a broken soul. You deserve so much more and Im sorry I couldn't be better for you. Im sorry for not giving you love and the kindness you need, but I will never give up. I hope the scars will fade and my heart will become one. I hope your smile returns and your eyes become full of light. I hope that you will become whole again. Maybe one day I will be able to find a home in you. I hope that day comes soon. Im sorry for how much I have hated you, Im learning to love you.